Good morning, reader…Monday morning does not need an explanation point after your greeting. Monday morning is a somber time of re-focusing on the work at hand. Here at Button Challenge Central, I am examining the train-wreck that was yesterday. I will share a blow-by-blow of my day.
Waking, morning routine, walking Rory: all systems working, in spite of weariness. Church on the couch: still weary and fell asleep briefly. Lizard brain took over, and I ate two Never Foods. I don’t remember what I was thinking, most likely because I don’t think I was. Lunch was nourishing, although I was not really hungry. In the late afternoon, I watched a movie and ate popcorn. Popcorn is an acceptable food for me, in moderation, due to butter. The popcorn was followed by two Never Foods.
I did not sleep well. I woke up very thirsty and thankfully I was able to go back to sleep. Today, I am still tired, a little upset with myself, and asking the big question: why. Why did I sabotage my progress?
My diagnosis is that I let myself be ruled by my emotions. I was tired, weary, and I did identify this early in the day. I shared the acronym HALT a while back: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. I let my weariness convince me that I needed comforting. I went back to old patterns. Instead of pausing, and thinking of all the alternatives I have available, I sought broken patterns and unfulfilling choices.
I am not counting yesterday, so today I am on Day 14. Yesterday, I did not adhere to the rules of my Food Plan, it was not a countable day. I will not restart at Day 0, because I have earned my way to Day 14. When you fall down on a marathon, you don’t go back to the starting line.
I recognize I sabotaged my progress. Sabotage means to deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct. The word that came to me this morning was refining. My Food Plan and this process is a refining process: remove impurities or unwanted elements from a substance (me), improve (me) by making small changes, in particular make (my Food Plan) more subtle and accurate.
What I won’t do today is to beat myself up about yesterday. I have recognized and evaluated the errors and made corrective actions. I have put in place preventative actions so the errors will not be repeated. There is no shame in falling down. In fact, there is no shame in staying down. It is just a really bad choice. I have dusted myself off, and I am standing strong.
Anne Ivans Home and Family 