Day 7/Two Cookies

These last few days I have been fine-tuning my Food Plan. I have some stupid ideas of what is appropriate and what is not.

Somehow I got it in my head that a little something, a little sweet, was a nice way to finish my lunch on a daily basis. This little something, most recently, has taken the form of two store-bought cookies. After finishing my simply satisfying lunch, I was eating two cookies or another “smallish” treat. Such a cute and nice habit, FOR A HOBBIT!

Where did I get this idea? Was it from “Leave it to Beaver”? I grew up in a household where we did not have store-bought sweets. My mother thought they were a waste of money. We did not routinely have dessert with dinner. We rarely left the dinner table full. Most of the time, I was still a little bit hungry, in fact.

I think these ideas come from my lizard brained inner child. “These two cookies are nurturing and comforting, sort of self-care.” “You deserve little treats for all the very hard work you have done so far today.” Where is the truth?

Do I deserve to sabotage my plans and my goals of becoming healthier? Wealthier? These cookies do cost money and they are costly in the long term for my health: type-2 diabetes, high cholesterol, limited mobility, sore joints, poor self-esteem… Wise? Is this really a wise choice? Processed food which can lead to sugar addiction?

The solution: looking back at my Food Plan: “Sweets are to be home-made and eaten once a week.” There is no room for my Hobbit indulgence. Maybe I need to review my Food Plan daily. Goodbye Hobbit-Anne, hello healthy, wealthy, and wise Anne.

Day 6/Pre-decide

My acceptance of my “never” list is growing stronger. I can nip arguments from my lizard brain quickly when they come up. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have…” quickly stops when I say to myself, “That’s on the Never List, and I want to keep to my 90-days.”

My Always List contains the concept: Eat until you are “simply satisfied”, not beyond. In thinking about stopping eating when I am simply satisfied, this stoppage is easier before the food is in front of me.

I recall times on vacation when my husband would split a meal. The result was we both had a nice satisfying meal, and we did not want more. The plate was halved at the beginning. I did not have to look at yummy food on my plate that I would not eat. I pre-decided.

Pre-decision is a powerful tool. It removes the decision fatigue we feel when we are tired. The HALT acronym stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. We make really poor decisions in these states. When I am hungry, I am not in the best place to correctly portion what goes on my plate. Before I am hungry, when I am in a contented state, I will pre-decide.

Day 5 Button Challenge

Good morning, faithful reader! Today I am considering the deprivation mindset. From James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.

I chose to change my lifestyle. There are many reasons, one of which was I no longer wanted to be ruled by impulsive decisions that have long term consequences. I want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Our lizard brain feels deprived whenever we don’t give into the impulse of the moment. It thinks we will never experience joy again if we don’t experience it RIGHT NOW, and in abundance. When we give into the lizard brain’s demands, we are depriving ourselves of long-term health, lightness of movement, and aging well. That is a huge price to pay for the momentary indulgence.

My numbers are up today: 0.6 lbs. increase from yesterday. I attribute this to portion size during lunch. Part of my food plan is to stop eating when I am “simply satisfied”. I am still working to dial this in.

Day 4 Button Challenge

Moving on and gaining momentum! My food plan is the best and I am enjoying the freedom within the confines of “the law”. If I consider my food plan as a law that, as a good citizen, I will obey, I can get beyond thinking of it as a restriction. I don’t feel restricted when I obey other laws, such as not stealing. I don’t feel compelled to steal when I am in a shop, because I am not a thief. I respect the shop owners and stealing would violate the rules I have set for myself and the rules of society. I can move freely within the shop without fear of putting something in my pockets and trying to escape with that little secret. In the same way, I can move freely within the confines of my food plan, without fear of “stealing treats” or “secret rewards”.

Good boundaries give freedom.

Just like a toddler, when I initially hear the word “no”, I rebel. My “lizard” brain kicks in, and I react impulsively. However, I am not a toddler. I can see the beauty of keeping routines and being kind to my body. I can be teachable and learn from my past mistakes. Each day that I obey the law of my food plan, I honor my body and I move closer to a person that effortlessly keeps the law.

Day 3 Button Challenge

Day 2 went well. I measure success on adherence to my food plan, not by the scale. I do track my weight as I want to release the excess weight I am carrying. I want to be kind to my body. Eating food that is not nutritionally sound is not consistent with my goals.

I read a lot and one thing that comes up in literature that focuses on change and living you best life is the “lizard brain”. The lizard brain refers to the most primitive part of the brain, the brain stem and cerebellum. Any part of a person’s psyche or personality that is dominated by instinct or impulse rather than rational thought comes from the lizard brain. As humans, we have higher level thoughts, defined by logic and reason. If we don’t control our lizard brain, we will be governed by instinct or impulse. Part of sticking to my food plan is using my neo-cortex rather than my brain stem and cerebellum. Change and Habit Research uses the 90-day model to break up an old habit cycle. This is why I chose 90 days for my challenge.

This morning, I was +28.2 lbs. I know, by adhering to my food plan, I will move closer to my healthy weight. After 90 days, I probably will not continue to count days. I don’t count days for other habits, such as brushing my teeth or adhering to traffic laws. Those things are simply habits that define how I want to live my life.

Day 2 Button Challenge/Being Comfortable with being Uncomfortable

Good morning! Day 1 is in the books! My only point of wavering was after work and before my puppy’s obedience lesson, at 3:00 pm. I was uncomfortable: mildly hungry and looking around, half-heartedly for a snack. I recalled my snacking habits in the past, and I remembered that a snack at 3:00 pm is unlikely to be a small and controlled event. Snacks like Graham crackers and peanut butter can run havoc on the best of plans. I left the kitchen and headed out with Rory for her obedience lesson.

My uncomfortable feeling at 3:00 pm is not new. I used to overeat routinely after returning home from school, when I was teaching. Then I would prepare dinner, already full, and still eat a substantial meal. I was not comfortable being uncomfortable, and I used food to soothe these feelings.

When I follow my food plan, I enjoy three nice meals a day. There is no need to eat every 2-3 hours. It is better to have digestive rest to allow my body to work on the fat reserves. I do not need to boost my metabolism by eating almost constantly, 5 to 6 times a day.

What I learned yesterday was feeling that uncomfortable slightly empty feeling is completely fine. I will accept the transition period between work and home tasks, without “rewarding” myself by over-eating. If I want a transition “break”, I will have a comforting cup of tea. I will get more and more comfortable being uncomfortable.

Day 1 Button Challenge and Levels of Commitment

Monday February 6th, Day 1 of the 90-day Commitment to stay on my food plan. This morning I completed my normal early morning routine: Bible study/ prayer, strength work out, and walk the dog. My breakfast was oatmeal with chia seeds and banana, one orange, a scoop of non-fat Greek yogurt, and approximately six nuts (from a bag of Healthy Nuts from Costco).

I will have a lunch of leftover veggies and a chicken thigh. Dinner will be leftovers as well: large salad, small serving of mashed potatoes with gravy, and a reasonable serving of pork roast.

I was thinking about commitments and applying percentage goals to them when I was walking my sweet Rory. If I got on a plane and the pilot proudly stated, “My goal is to get you to your destination 95% of the time.” Or if you were a guest at a wedding, and the vows were a 98% commit to faithfulness. You know, you got to be reasonable here. Things happen. Or, if I consider traffic laws: I commit to stopping at red lights 90% of the time I am driving and 80% if it is snowing. I can’t be responsible for my car the other 10 to 20% of the times. This is ridiculous.

With this thinking in mind, I want to set myself up properly: 100% commitment to following my food plan for the next 90 days. It is my plan after all, that I designed with my own particular needs in mind. No one is making me control what I consume. This is my choice, and I am all in. The voices of doubt from past failures will fade with time and with momentum.

Day 0 Button Challenge

Hello, dear reader. I am starting my button challenge over. On Thursday, I threw my rules out the proverbial window. I considered Friday and Saturday how I wanted to move forward with this challenge, and in the spirit of honesty, I felt it best to start over. In my mind, repeat days should be the exception, and not the rule. Tomorrow will be Day 1.

I have had a few personal inquiries about what I am doing. Questions like what is the point and what are your goals? Why buttons? Buttons are just my method of counting days. I have two jars, one with 90 buttons, at the start. Each day, I move a button over, into the “done” jar.

The point of my button challenge is to be “on plan” for 90 days. I created my own food plan with four categories. The goal is to eat in a more reasonable way, on a consistent basis. In the past, I have approached food plans with the wrong mindset. I tried to game the system, figure out how I could eat as much as possible, while still losing weight. This gives food too much importance in my life. I have noticed that my friends that maintain a healthy weight do not think about food that much. Yes, they enjoy their food choices and moderate their intake. They do not have times where they over-eat, to being uncomfortably full.

My goal, by creating my four categories, and with these, my own personal food plan, is to retrain myself to eat appropriately for my body type.

My Four Categories:

Never: These are foods I am not good at limiting and behaviors I never want to engage in. These foods do not offer nutritional benefits and eating these foods has sabotaged my healthy eating plans in the past. If I eat one bite of these foods, or engage in “never” behaviors, I will re-start my button challenge.

Always: These are foods and activities I will always do. For example, I will always drink a large glass of water with each meal. Obviously, eating vegetables is part of the “always” list.

Conditional: These are foods/activities that are based on conditions, such as birthday parties or other conditions I may find myself. I have pre-determined how I will respond to these variations in my days ahead of time. Note that conditions do not affect my “never” list.

Restricted: These are foods I may consume in certain quantities. For example, I enjoy baking. It is completely within my plan to enjoy what I bake in restricted quantities.

The beauty of my food plan is that I created it. It is mine, based on what I know definitively about my eating habits and what I want to change. I am sharing this with you, my Facebook friends, for my accountability. I predict after 90 days I will feel better and be lighter. Maybe you want to join me!

Day 7 Button Challenge

We are moving on to Day 7! Eventually we will get to 90 days, however the beginning seems to be slow going. I began this challenge at +29.4 and I am now at +29.0. I have had two repeat days where my number did not go down, although I am still down 0.4 lbs. 7 buttons into this. It is PROGRESS.

Two things to note today:

I will not be posting every day during this challenge. I will post when I have time and the desire. I know there will be some busy days where I don’t post. If you’ve joined me on this journey, please know I have not given up on the days I am silent.

Second thing: I came across a term I want to share: suffering tolerance. Suffering tolerance is being present and being comfortable with the discomfort. When the events around me make me uncomfortable or uneasy, I will use this idea to work through it. I can recognize that at this moment I do feel uneasy and I may feel that yucky feeling in my gut. I don’t need to run away or be distracted. Instead I can be anchored in the moment, being mindful of the present. I can be comfortable being uncomfortable. Naming this idea, suffering tolerance, will help me build that muscle.

Thanks for reading. Over the years, I have gleaned a lot of ideas and concepts I will share here as they come into my thinking. Perhaps they will help you, too. I plan to enjoy Day 7. The new button is very pretty…